“I look back to me as a 4 year old on the balcony laying looking into the stars…I feel then what i feel now. I am then who I am now. I would say that the search for enlightenment lies within you, and rather than the silencing of the mind, I’d opt for listening. How do you approach your search? Do you consider yourself ‘enlightened’?”
Takuin sat in a Zen temple in Kyoto, waiting for a Zen Monk and an interesting conversation.
During his wait, he saw a little cockroach making its way across the floor. It was indecisive; move one way, go back, move one way, go back. He sat with this little creature for some time while waiting.
Then, a student of the temple walked into the room. He walked over to the roach and stepped on it.
Takuin left the temple.
Powered by Twitter Tools.
Takuin is currently traveling throughout Japan and will be away for the next few weeks.
I’ll be in Hiroshima and will visit Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park in addition to several other locations. Then it is off to Kyoto for a few days. Mix in some Kabuki theater, a sumo match, and a trip to Toyama and you have a pleasant journey.
And for those I have not already contacted, there will be no dialogs through skype until the end of the month. (This does not affect those I have already scheduled.)
And remember, in your quest for wholeness (as silly as that may sound), don’t forget to go out into the world to see the beautiful creations of both humanity and nature. Every moment is a moment to sit, even if you are standing.
So leave your effort behind (don’t worry, you can return to it later), walk out your front door, and take in what the world has to reveal.
Always listen, and take what is given with gratitude.
The human form is fascinating, as are all living forms. It is within this house we sit, but there are no walls, no floor, no ceiling, and no chair to sit upon. But that is good, for we are not there either.
This body will continue to go on, until it ceases to continue.
There is your ‘current life,’ and then there is the life you would like. Of the two, which one is real? Of the two, which one can you attend to NOW?
I can only relate to what is and not so much to what was or will be (in part because those states are fluid)
That is wonderful. Although I don’t refer to those states as fluid, but rather, static. What was or what will be are built from what has come before; what was is a memory, and what might be is the past projecting forward into a possible future. It is not static in the physical sense, but it is static psychologically (if that makes any sense).
In other words, it may give the illusion of fluidity, but it is akin to changing the curtains in a prison cell; it may look temporarily prettier, but the complete movement in still very limited.
All IS what is, but there is a danger there. When one wishes to capture what is as an experience to be had again, it becomes that same movement of the past. And this is a great stumbling block for millions of searchers, it seems.
Seeing what is for the first time is wonderful, but staying with it is not easy. It is much easier to stay with your memory of what is, but that has no meaning, other than the selfish comfort it provides.
Of course, none of this is meant to be right or wrong…we’re just exploring. I hope you brought your pith helmet! 
**********
If you want to find Takuin on Facebook, he is not very difficult to locate. Just do a name search and he’ll pop up right away.
He’s also on Twitter. If you are already a member, just use @takuin. And if you’re not a member, go here.
In response to a friend that asked about ‘Letting Go’ as a path to freedom.
There is a subtle voice in letting go that says, “Things need to change. If I let this go, my life will be better.” But it is a mere projection of a non-existent state. Although one is ‘letting go,’ it may still be a trick of the controller. In other words, one would not ‘let go’ unless they felt something was wrong in the first place. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You lack nothing.
The only state you have, is the one you are in. If you feel fearful, it is a fact. It is confusing to try and find a “better state.” To sit with what is present – the fear – and work from there, is all one can really do.
All of this – whatever feelings you may have, good or bad – is your greatest teaching. It is better than anything anyone else may hand to you. All of the answers are present within you. But you must begin with what you have, and not with what you think is better.
You may need strength to sit with it and see it. You may need great determination to see it through, but this is your journey to take. And whatever is within you – even if it seems to bring pain – is truly a gift.
You know, there is that saying, “What you resist persists.” But also, it is this resistance that helps point you toward your greatest freedom. It is all very exciting to be where you are. You might not believe it, but it is true.
It seems you take this seriously, and that is a very positive step. But you will also need curiosity to see it to the end. There is a great energy present within curiosity. And while it might not eliminate fearful feelings, it makes it all so much easier to deal with.
When you are curious, there is a great movement toward finding out; you are not so interested in a specific result as much as you are in finding out what is really there. And seeing the truth of what is present is stronger and more final than any fear that resides within thought.
The danger is in reaching for the ‘idea’ of freedom, thinking it is in any way real. A guru may tell us it is all bliss, all love, all this or that, and all we can do is imagine that apparent state. Then we begin our search by looking for the state we have imagined, which is not the actual thing.
Such a dangerously subtle trick.
Freedom, liberation, truth, is really the most fragile thing,
it can be destroyed with a word,
an image,
an idea.
An image can override all truth, masking it, covering it over,
and we accept the image as the truth,
we can hide in the image.
We can feel more secure with these things we build….
they don’t change and seem permanent.
But no one ‘wants’ the truth of permanence.
Permanence has no truth.
My 28 day fasting experiment went very well. Much better than I could have expected. And after it was all over with I realized I could have kept the whole thing going for much longer.
The last week of the fast held no surprises, and went quickly. Energy was at a constant, even level, and there was absolutely no desire to eat. It seems the body had adjusted to no real food intake, and was able to easily deal with the physical end of fasting.
When it came time to actually start eating again, I felt I could continue fasting for at least a few more weeks with no ill effects. But the only way to know would be to fast for those weeks to find out.
I decided 28 days were enough for the purposes of this experiment.
I mentioned this in an earlier post, but this was not a true ‘water’ fast. I did drink other liquids during those 28 days, mostly to take in more vitamins and minerals.
I discovered, after a few weeks of fasting, that taking vitamin and mineral tablets made me nauseous. In order to take in necessary nutrients, I devised my own concoctions to try and take care of any deficiencies. It seems to have turned out well.
My calorie intake – beyond the first ten days – was 500 calories or less per day. So, not a true ‘water fast,’ but close enough for my needs.
The first thing I did on March 1st was eat. By the time I was ready for the first bite of the first meal, salivation was off the charts. It was very interesting as an experience. I ate various kinds of sushi for my first meal, and felt fine. No trouble in digestion, and no feeling of excessive fullness.
But as the days passed, and the eating continued, I noticed a general feeling of discomfort. This feeling did not seem to be related to any particular meals, so I could not trace it to a specific episode of over-feeding.
This discomfort continued, and would not seem to let up, so I went back to fasting for a day or two every week to make a note of the effects. This seemed to completely eliminate the discomfort of everyday eating, and sharply brought things back into ‘normal’ functioning.
I now follow a schedule of intermittent fasting. Three days per week are fasting days, and the other four are ‘eat’ days. I have experimented with different schedules and currently fast on Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday. On the other four days, I eat between the hours of 12-8 PM. This schedule seems to work best for now, but I continue to remain flexible.
I feel physically more comfortable eating in this way. I just do not see the necessity of eating everyday.
Heightened energy levels returned rather quickly. But the impulse to return to ‘regular’ life waned for several days after the fast was completed. I didn’t leave the house, did not post much of anything to this website, and generally did not participate in anything other than breathing.
I sat with this for some time and found that there was no desire to return to anything, because there was nothing to return to. Even though the memories of life before the fast still floated around, they could not influence Takuin to ‘go back’ to something that no longer exists.
Each new day became the only day. With no past or no future. This is nothing particularly ground breaking for Takuin, but fasting placed a kind of exclamation point at the end of it.
The physical body is the embodiment of liberation; it is constantly in a state of aliveness. But humans fall into trouble by trying to wrangle this living body with dead, stagnant ideas and concepts. Trying to force life through death, so to speak.
This body, and all of the functions it houses, may be the only teacher one ever needs.
Many people wish to fast in order to force some kind of ’spiritual experience.’ They say that fasting does this or that, or you can gain some insight or freedom by fasting. This is very true in a physical sense. But as far as liberation or oneness – or whatever you call it – is concerned, I could find nothing there. Liberation has more to do with your interference with life, and not abstaining from this or that.
As I sit and type these words, there is no more or less of anything in awareness. Can there be a more or less of anything?
There were great physical changes in this body during the course of the fast. I lost a total of 32.56 lbs (or 14.8 kg), but never once did I feel any danger or weakness. However, I was not able to measure how much of the weight lost was water, fat, or lean mass.
Some friends have told me I seem to be taller now. And although it is not really true, I wonder what might cause them to see me in that way? I was never much of a sloucher to begin with. But if there is a downside to all of this weight loss, it is the need for a new wardrobe.
When I started to eat again, I re-gained about 12 lbs. But after the first week, the weight started to come back down again. By my calculations, if things continue as they are, I will normalize at my post-fast weight in another week to ten days.
I am sure that there must have been a detox effect, but there was no real way for me to measure it. All I can mention are the outward physical effects of fasting on the body. And those effects seemed to have been in line with what most people have already reported. The chills, dragon breath, diarrhea, loss of focus, light headed-ness, increased need for sleep, and so on, were all experienced at some point of the fast, but none of them were on-going. They all seemed to dissipate after the first ten days or so.
There are numerous reports or claims of how fasting helps with the healing process. The logic behind those claims seems sound, but it is not at all what I have experienced. What I experienced was far more interesting.
I noticed no effects of ‘healing’ or ‘normalization’ UNTIL I re-introduced food. The fast, on its own, did not seem to do much of anything in that respect, but I noticed some interesting changes after I started to eat. For example, clearer skin, and faster wound healing (scab formation and so on) were noticeable changes for me.
The most interesting change was a small wart I had on the pinkie of my right hand. Before and during the fast it never changed in size and was very hard. But after I began eating again, it became very soft within a day or two and is now almost completely gone.
So it may be a combination of food and fasting that brings about a greater result in the healing process. But I really cannot say for certain.
Everything turned out wonderfully with this little experiment, and apart from the first week, I loved it. It has certainly altered the way I interact with food on a daily (and weekly) basis.
Unfortunately, I could find nothing I was curious to see. No real difference in the functioning of the mind, and no deeper spiritual significance. But it was very well worth doing.
In the future, I may perform another month long experiment on a different subject. I am now intrigued by the idea.
Any suggestions?
To The Student
Don’t say you are ‘All One.’ That is an incredibly powerful statement. And as we go into this step by step we can see your confusion. So is the fact your confusion, or your idea of being All One? If you are All One, you would have no questions to the contrary. You would not ask a thing. So please, let’s not cover up the fact of your confusion with your idea of wholeness.
We begin with what we have. There is no shame in being confused.