When I see the world, my immediate surroundings, there is a great feeling of wonder. Inexplicably, nothing and all things are there simultaneously. Thought doesn’t arise, projecting itself on whatever is being seen. Whatever I look at is seen immediately, without time or any interference on my part. Even the fake wood-grain of this Formica table has a vibrancy all its own.

I often wonder if this kind of living can be taught, or otherwise, transmitted in some way to other people. At the same time, one has to ask, would another person want this immediacy? This direct connection that is constantly destroyed and renewed at every moment?

Perhaps people have some romantic notion of what it is to be in the moment? Some idea of a way of living that can bring them peace and comfort. A new system of thought. But that is a meaningless trade-off. It is just changing the curtains in the same smelly outhouse. And no matter how pretty the pattern on the fabric, it the same as what came before. It doesn’t help the smell any, either.

If others knew what it meant to be in the moment, would they want it? I have to say, there is no comfort here (that doesn’t mean there is discomfort, because there isn’t). There is nothing to hold on to; no tradition to prop oneself up with. There is immense joy here, because the violence of thought is gone. Energy, formerly wasted in torturing oneself with the meaningless struggles of thought, is free from that self-inflicted suffering. It is immense, like being constantly on the verge of an explosion. I can’t love it or hate it; it’s just a fact.

I suppose, if someone did have this, it would be too late to do anything about it. They wouldn’t have time to live in a new system, because by the time they are in the moment, everything that came before would be destroyed.

If you meet the moment, I am afraid there is no turning back. No system will stick to you. Religious, political, or psychological systems will not be of any use other than knowledge. All of your excuses will be gone. Who you are is destroyed; what you are is all that remains.

It is fairly clear that most people do not want this. They are happy to live in a system providing false security. And they will stay happy as long as nothing comes along to challenge the zone they have built for themselves. If you want to live in that way, and be comfortable in those beliefs (whatever they might be), then don’t question your thoughts. Don’t inquire within to see what is really there. Stay where you are and your beliefs will remain intact. Because if you do inquire within, and you look at the entirety of your mind, seeing the whole of the problem within you, everything that you believe will be destroyed beyond repair.

Why does everyone take this word so seriously? Why is there such power given to a word pointing to experiences that do not exist? Whenever you use that word, you are immediately creating and image that pulls you away from reality.

My boyfriend should spend more time with me.

Really?

Yes.

Why should he?

Because it would make me happier.

So, is your pain coming from the reality of him not spending time with you? Or, is your pain coming from the image you are projecting of how things should be?

It’s because he isn’t there.

Really?

Yes.

Well tell me, how would you feel if you didn’t have the idea that he should spend more time with you? How would you feel if you didn’t have that should in your life? Not that you ignore it. I am asking how would you live your life if you were not even capable of thinking he should spend more time with you? 

If I weren’t capable, then I don’t think it would bother me.

OK. So is your pain coming from the should, or from what is real?

Well, if he was here, I wouldn’t have to think this way.

No. If he is here, your idea of what should be isn’t challenged. That is all. So you feel safe. But for how long? When you live your life outside of reality, you are like a time-bomb; if your image of what should be is hurt, then you explode. It will always be this way. If he is there, you are fine; if he goes, you explode. If you only live in shoulds, it is just a matter of time before your suffering begins. Once reality doesn’t match the image you have built of yourself, the pain begins.

Well, shouldn’t I just live life in a way that doesn’t put me in that conflict?

And what way would that be? If your life is based on shoulds, on images, on thought, you are already in conflict. Living a life through imagery is living a life of violence. Can you see that? Not because you agree or because that is what I am saying; can you really understand that living outside of reality is living inside of violence?

But what I think of reality IS reality.

No way. What you think is in no way real at all. All of our thoughts are creations of the past. There is nothing there but memory. how can memory, something from the past, something that is essentially dead, how can that stuff bring us into the moment? The moment is perceived when the past is not there; when memory is not interfering. What you call reality is merely your projected thought of what it should be. Nothing else.

You are making me angry.

Really? How is that at all possible? In what way do I have the power to make you angry? I am just sitting here and sounds are coming out of me. In what way does that threaten you? Am I doing anything at all, or are you reacting to me based on what you think is true? Please check it out. This is very important, and you are angry. Go into it NOW. Don’t theorize about it later when you feel fine. Stay with it.

You are saying things that I cannot believe, so i am angry.

So, are you angry because of what is said, or are you angry because of what you believe? Tell me now, what is happening inside of you.

I am mad because I believe he should spend more time with me and that is real.

Are you mad because he is not there?

Yes.

Is that the truth? He isn’t there, so I am mad, you say. Is it true?

Yes.

Your mom isn’t here, are you mad at her?

No.

Well why not? If you are mad at him for not being here, wouldn’t it stand to reason that you should be mad at her, too?

No.

Why not?

Because I don’t believe she should be here.

EXACTLY! You don’t believe she should be here and you are not mad. You believe he should be here and you are mad. So what is causing you pain?

The idea that he should be here.

YES! Now don’t let it go. Stay with it. See that is it your belief that causes the pain, not the fact. The fact has no meaning other than what you place on top of it. Now tell us, if you are not capable of thinking he should be here, how do you feel?

I feel fine. There’s nothing pulling in any direction.

So why do we think in shoulds? What possible benefit could there be? Any should takes us far away from what is real; what is now. Anytime you think in shoulds, ask yourself what is real? How does this should take me away from the moment?

Can there ever be a proper action to take if you live in shoulds? How can any action be right if all that you see is false (the should)? If you are clear of whatever is false, from that space, all action becomes right or proper or whatever you want to call it.

If you act in the now, without mental interference, that action is perfection.

Sit quietly. Take a few deep breaths and slow yourself down. Turn your focus inward. Don’t focus on your breathing, or perform a mantra; just sit quietly. Whatever is there, whether it is a physical or emotional sensation, allow it to be there. Don’t resist, and don’t try to think of something better. Sit with your sensations and allow them to do what it is that they do.

How do you welcome a feeling you might perceive as negative? Don’t be afraid of it. However horrible it may seem, it is not real. It has no existence. You are the one that gives it the power to cripple you.

Imagine that you are sitting at home alone, with nothing to do. The doorbell chimes. You open the door, and it is a person that you have not seen in a very long time. Someone that you love deeply. Everything is perfect and you welcome them into your home with great love and true affection. Welcome your suffering in the same way - with love and no sense that it can hurt you, becuase it cannot. Welcome the feeling and observe it; how it moves and what it does to you.

When we resist, we attach ourselves to the object of resistance. We can never be free of something if there is resistance. There is nothing to be free from, but the mind, for whatever reason, tricks us into believing that there is something better out there. But is there an out there? As strange as it might sound, I question that. What is outside of this organism that I can use to set me free? All of the creations of thought are outside. Nature is outside, although it exists apart from thought (but thought can extrapolate on nature, or make ideas or theories about it). What is outside of this body, this mind? What could I possibly hope to find?

I know many people will say that God - whatever they mean by that word - is outside of them and uses them or guides them like an instrument. Can anyone possibly know that is true? But I can feel God, they might say. Did the God that you feel originate outside of you? Did someone have to give it to you? Is it based on knowledge, meaning, do you have to follow some rules in order to get somewhere later? Heaven, Nirvana, Satori, or whatever humans have a tendency to seek. If someone gave it to you, and it is presented as a way to achieve freedom, how can you possibly know that it is true? The mind is an amazing instrument. We can make ourselves experience any feeling we see fit to have. We can imagine the most amazing sensations. How can I be sure that what I am feeling is God? Could it just be the undigested remnants of the potatoes I ate last night?

Don’t take any of this as a negative viewpoint. I m not against anything here. I just want to question it all. If we are talking about the freedom of humanity, how can I trust anything that is given to me for that end? This system will do it. Really? Why does the world still suffer? This religion will do it. Really? Why do we destroy each other over our beliefs? This political system will do it. Really? When will that begin? I am not an athiest, not anti-anything. I am just saying if something doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. That is all.

I grew up in a religious community. When I was younger, I resisted it. I emphatically said it was false. But if I do not believe in something, and emphatically rally against it, I am still very much attached to it. If I knew something to be false, why would I put any energy toward it at all? If you drop it, it is gone. Not to be played with, or kicked around on the ground. If I say I am an athiest, I am still attached to God. Isn’t that obvious? If religion has no meaning to me, it is gone. There is no reason to talk about it or join a group of people that talk about how wrong it is. That is madness. Does any of this make sense to you?

It is not a matter of ignoring anything. If I ignore something, I am still active in my resistance. And if I resist something, I am still with it. I can never be free as long as I resist. The resistance unravels itself without any effort on our part. Any effort towards resistance is resistance. If you feel resistance, anger, hate, greed, or whatever it might be, welcome those feelings with great love. Greet it like your loved ones at the front door. Allow it to arrive and watch it; observe it. Don’t view it with the idea that it is a bad feeling. Don’t see it as something to avoid or resist. There is nothing good or bad or horrible in there.

Welcome it, love it, and observe it, and it will destroy itself.

The wonders of nature are ceaseless. How many times do we see the real beauty in nature? When was the last time we stopped to see the beautiful design in the spider’s web, or the flowing petals on a rose? The greatest lessons of life are hidden within those delicate patterns if you know how to look; if you can see it for what it is.

I have the same morning routine for most days. I see my niece and nephew off on the school bus Then I will walk around Toyama for anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour and a half. During those walks, I observe my thoughts, if anything happens to be there, and I enjoy the presence of the natural world that surrounds me. It is inevitable to see amazing natural creations of all kinds. Just this morning I saw the most amazing spider’s web. There are cemented trenches all over Toyama, carrying water to the rice fields. The spider constructed its web, covering the inner walls of the trench. The web was wet, and glistened in the morning light. It was alive, vibrating in time with the rushing water. I was there with it; vibrating with it. That direct connection was there all morning.

Now, it is raining here in Toyama. The sound is quite remarkable. There is an unimaginable depth to it. I feel myself renewed in some way, being in the moment while it rains. Every moment brings inevitable destruction, and in that destruction is incredible beauty. I feel an immense joy at the moment of that destruction, which is constant. To be in the moment, is to be forever destroyed. That is where one finds love.

Some have said to me that there must be fear in that destruction. Must there be? Fear can only persist and exist through time and the movement of thought. And while thought has its place, it does not belong in direct perception. It cannot exist in that moment. Seeing from moment to moment is only possible when thought is not interfering. In my own mind, that immensity will arise, and I will be there, left all alone in that beautiful moment. I can still think, and I can still reason. But nothing is interfering with the moment. My wife will be talking, and I will be there, destroyed and reborn at every moment. I can still talk to her, still laugh with her, still be with her, but there is nothing coming between me and her. I see her completely, and she is beautiful. That beauty is within us all.

Beauty is not something known through comparison. If you only know beauty in contrast to what is ugly, then you know nothing. You have not seen what is real. This is not beauty based on a thought or an idea of what beauty is; beauty and love come forth when who we are ceases to interfere. Only then can we have a direct connection to everything that is around us; no matter if it is a chair, or a human. Beauty is timeless (without thought). Try seeing for yourselves.

We are joined with all things, in the end. And the end is where you will be, if you are able to see real beauty.

I was at a talk last night on the topic of Order. I was not there as a speaker; just an observer. I sat quietly for the two hours, listening and observing my thoughts. It was wonderful to go into the subject of order, to find out what is there, if anything, and see if it can be brought about in some way. A still mind, a mind that is in the moment, or a mind that is present, whatever you want to call it, is a remarkable thing. In that state, is there Order?

You ask the question, How can we have Order in this world? Some might answer that only through God can we find Order. Only through his/her guidance can we be set upon the right path. But how many thousands of centuries have we done this? Religion after religion, cult after cult, we are still in the same horrible state of affairs. They say, God will show us the way. Well, when? And which God? And why should we believe you anymore? For thousands of years we have been promised this freedom, and nothing has come of it. I do not want to be fooled anymore.

I can no longer believe that any religion has a monopoly of the enlightenment or salvation of humanity. If one did, we would have it. And I cannot be tricked into believing that we just have not found the right one yet. What is the difference between them, anyway? No, I must walk alone, and see it for myself.

You ask the question, How can we have Order in this world? Some might say that we will find it in a social system. Does anyone still believe this? How could it be possible? Society has fragmented us. Our nationalities keep us at war with one another. There is always that difference, and that fatalistic comparison. How can the United States be any different from Canada, or Mexico? I cannot understand this kind of thinking at all. How can India be any different from the U.K.? I do not understand. Is it because we look different? There are different languages, and different cultures. But so what?

I was born in the United States. That is all. I was born there. But so what? Some might say that I am unpatriotic. Why does patriotism have to be an opposite of unpatriotism? They are both their own conditions. It is not, if you aren’t one, then you are the other. Why would I need a label to see another person? If I used the label or the image, then I cannot meet that person ever. If someone asks me, are you patriotic?, and I say no, then immediately I am unpatriotic or an anarchist or whatever. But why? If I say I am not patriotic, that is all. Nothing else. I do not waste energy on pursuing some anti-patriotic stance. If I did, that would be no different from being patriotic. Can you see this?

Some might ask, don’t you have pride in your country? That question confuses me. I was born in a place. How can I be proud of a place? You country has done wonderful things, they might say. Aren’t you proud? It becomes difficult to talk about; I am not proud, and I am not non-proud. I am just here. Why must I be one or the other? I have no desire for conflict with other human beings. Why would I want to adopt a feeling given to me by another, when I know it will eventually put me into conflict with another?

I hope I can make it clear that there is no action here that is against something. I am not saying I am against a nation, and I have no negative energy here. It becomes difficult. How can I even be proud of myself? There is nothing here. If I have set a difficult goal and then achieve it, am I supposed to be proud of that? If I am proud, disappointment is just around the corner. I do not know that I am able to make myself clear here.

You ask the question, How can we have Order in this world? Some would say through political action. We have had similar, if not the very same, political structures we have had for thousands of years. In what way has this set human beings free? There is always division in politics. Why would I even want to entertain the idea of being interested in their promises? It makes no sense to me. I have no desire to be divided any longer. There is nothing in me that wishes for some new system to set me free. I have no conflict here. In fact, if as a result of reading this, someone becomes angry, I have NOTHING to do with it. There is no division here. Why would I have any hate or anger for anyone? It is none of my business what other people think about me. And only I can upset myself. Am I to believe that someone has some kind of magical power to get into my mind and make me mad? That is insane.

It is always difficult to make oneself understood when speaking like this. Many people take these things personal for some reason. I am sure at one time, I would have done the same. But do we really need to be in the dark anymore? In this current age, we have more knowledge than we have ever had at any time in history. It continually grows exponentially. But what has all of this knowledge given us? We still kill each other, hate each other, become more and more isolated from one another. What can knowledge do to set us free? All knowledge is from the past. It is the creation of memory. But humans are present creatures. How can we use a dead thing, something born from the past, to free us into the present? Is it at all possible?

Some might say that we learn from our mistakes. Is that true? Why do we still hurt each other? Why do we still have all of this terrible division in the world? If we could learn from our mistakes and set things right, then why don’t we?

Please believe me, when I write these words, all I can feel is joy and love. I do not say these things, or anything for that matter, out of a need to prove a point or to be right. I have no agenda that will take away my self-created hurt in order to make me feel like a bigger person.

I can truly say that I love you. To anyone that reads this. I know that humanity can see through these things. I know that we human beings can express this love and joy, for the betterment of all. And I know that we can live together, in real loving relationships with one another. But why haven’t we done it?

Ask yourself right now. Why haven’t you done it?