I remember watching the stand-up of Rowan Atkinson some years ago. The one sketch I can easily remember was of him portraying the doorman to hell, as it were. He greeted all the new entrants and grouped them up accordingly and explained their fate. (Ooh, I found the video HERE)
All of the Christians were in hell because, according to the devil, “The Jews were right.“
At the time, I wondered, if that were real, where did I fall on the scale? Of course, I was a teenager at that time, as near as I can recall, and those were the kind of questions I had back then.
Testing Your Fate
I took a test a few minutes ago called, Dante’s Inferno Test. I am a Heretic (apparently), and the afterlife does not look too good.
Here are the results.
Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis
You approach Satan’s wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.I am also moderately violent, gluttonous, and lustful, so in other words, a well rounded human being.
The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Low |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Very High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Very High |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Moderate |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Low |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very High |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Moderate |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Moderate |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Moderate |
Take the Dante’s Inferno Test
Lustful and gluttonous? I guess I can go there. At least I am only moderately violent.
10 Comments
Many questions on this survey were dualistic and impossible for me to answer. So I had to take my best guess.
My best guesses lead to gluttony and lust, it seems. Not to mention, herecy.
If anyone else tries this, just for the heck of it, let me know your results.
Takuin
Man, I love one of the questions on that test - “a pimp is a good thing to be” HA!
I’m very high in lust, high in violence (although that was just my martial arts background), and a moderate glutton. Everything else was low or very low. Damn it, I can’t control the little monk!
I won’t ask what the “little monk” is.
Now this is my kind of place!
Second Level of Hell
——————————————————————————–
You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.
See you in Hell…..Muahhh-ha-haha
Even for this dual one the duality formed questions are hard to deal with. Lust is my biggest beast.
Hah, we’re gonna burn in the same level, Alan! And yes, some of the questions are kinda dumb. I took some cardboard storage boxes from work once…and now I’m a fraud? Ack…
Cool! Looks like I’ll be in good company. Let’s tear the place up!!
reminds me of one of my favorite jokes. It may be inscrutable to non-Christians, but here goes:
The Pope convenes a special emergency enclave of the college of cardinals in the Sistine Chapel. As the cardinals arrive, a noisy hubbub arises as the cardinals share rumors about what could possibly be so important that they would all suddenly be called to the Vatican from their posts around the world.
At long last the Pope appears in the room. He steps to a hastily erected rostrum and addresses the gathered bishops:
“My brothers, I have good news - wonderful news, in fact - and I have bad news. The good news is this: the Church’s centuries of faith have finally been vindicated. This morning I received a telephone call from our blessed Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who has returned as he promised he would.”
“And now the bad news: He was calling from Salt Lake City.”
I am curious to know, how many people will take tests like these very seriously. I am sure it is more than a few. (I am not talking about the visitors to this site)
Thankfully, we were born with a sense of humor. (and common sense?)
I suppose that depends on what you would call common sense. I have always been kind of stupid on one end, and wise on the other. I’ve never been quite sure which end is which.