Everything arrives immediately. But there is no wish or desire to keep anything. The mechanism is broken, and now, arrival and departure are a simultaneous movement.

But to qualify this existence with arrival and departure is not quite right, either. Although one might argue that no time is involved, i.e., “You either arrive or you don’t, you either depart or you don’t,” there still seems to be the element of time and thought that is present in that definition.

To be clear, everything happens and there is only being. Time is not involved. If Takuin arrives or departs, it can only be known by another. Time cannot be placed here by this organism.

When I walk down the street and look around, it is not as if things arrive from somewhere. It is not coming in through a filter, and there is nothing gradual. It is just there.

But, I do not know that it is there.

If I see a cat, it is obvious to knowledge that a cat is present. But to Takuin, there is no cat. There may be a living organism, and there may be movement, but I cannot know what it is. Once I know it, knowledge is there. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but once knowledge is there, the only thing I can see is my memory.

In order to know something, knowledge and thought must stay with it. There is no way around this. If you look at a cat, all the while knowing it is a cat, then do you truly see the cat? If you could see the thing, not knowing anything about it, how might it appear to you? How would it move you?

To keep thought with everything one sees is such a drain to the mind. There is constant power put in that direction. It is energy used to generate this field of time that keeps images pushed to the front of perception. Why is it there at all?

If you see someone walking toward you at the other end of the street, are you with them at each moment, or can you only see them in relation to how long it will take them to reach you? Why is there such an importance placed on the projection of time?

To see without time, is seeing without effort. To live without time, is living without effort. That is the expression of life, in each and every moment.

You are all already there. The only thing that stops you is the thought that you are not.

The following words are attributed to the 11th century Buddha Vajradhara, Tilopa.

1. Do not remember the past;
2. Do not predict the future;
3. Do not think about the present;
4. Do not analyze;
5. Do not control;
6. Rest.

There are, of course, a number of translations, but the above encapsulates what most people will find on various Buddhist related sites.

However, there are a number of problems with this particular translation. On the surface, it might seem to be good advice, and it is, really. But the problem of how to approach the whole thing arises. It might seem to imply that one can think about the present, for example. But is that true? Can one think of the present in the first place?

Let’s go into this one by one, and in the end, we will see if there is a more appropriate translation we might use.

1. Do Not Remember the Past

If the past could not be remembered, and if memory could not be utilized, I would not be able to type these words. I wouldn’t know how to get to my house. I wouldn’t be able to speak or relate in any way whatsoever.

The only way the past can be brought about is through remembering. It does not show up of its own accord or have a vibrancy of its own. We must remember in order to utilize the past, for better or worse.

This might mislead people into thinking that they can forcibly “forget” the past. To repress those things that the self wishes to avoid. But this kind of avoidance only attaches us further, because there is always energy present pushing away at the item of repression. This will keep you connected to it forever.

2. Do Not Predict the Future

This one is rather confusing. The only way to know the future is through the past. We invent what might be, through what we already know. There can never be a “new” future, because the mechanism we use to create it is the “old” past.

There is the tendency for everyone to put their image of what should be on top of reality, but that is not really predicting anything. It is just a fantasy based on one’s prejudices and preferences.

And besides, if I do not remember the past, I cannot predict the future.

3. Do Not Think About the Present

Is it even possible to think about the present? Can we think in terms of anything other than what we already know? I need knowledge and memory - the past - in order to think, don’t I? If that is true, how can I think about the present? It must always be thought of in terms of the past, because that is the medium of thought.

This could mean the projection of thought onto the present moment. But it is rather vague, and leaves one running in circles trying to not think about the present. Of course, if one is projecting onto reality, then there is no present moment. There is only the thought that keeps you out of your natural state of awareness.

Besides, is there even a present moment? Once we solidify the present into a moment, doesn’t that effectively kill it? Can the present be captured at all? Can the present ever be known? Again, knowing would imply the past. Can the past and the present ever meet?

4. Do Not Analyze

This is a very important point. If one is analyzing, there is always a separation. There is always the analyzer, and the thing to be analyzed. It is a subtle way of locking one into a dualistic way of thinking.

Once we start to analyze, we believe ourselves to be separate from the thing under analysis. If I am greedy, and I try to analyze it, it is always me and the greed. We will never be able to realize that we are the greed. It is always us looking at something else.

This is an important point to consider for yourselves: If you analyze, what is it that is doing the analyzing? And in what way is it different from the object of analysis? See it for yourselves.

5. Do Not Control

Another very important point to consider. It is essentially the same danger as number 4. When we wish to control, it is always the controller and the thing to be controlled. This separation and conflict can never bring peace to a human being.

Control only keeps you attached to the thing you wish to be away from. But can you really be attached to it, or rather, are you it? You will never see it for yourself as long as you believe there are two separate entities at work, i.e., the controller, and the thing to be controlled.

6. Rest

An important point. And it not only pertains to physical rest. But our minds need to rest as well.

Human beings are in a constant state of mental fatigue, due to the wastage of energy over our problems. I am greedy, but I shouldn’t be! Think of the great energy required to keep that illusion alive.

In the case of should, you see the situation, but cannot come to terms with what is happening. You create a should in order to better deal with it. But the should requires so much energy that you will never see the reality of the situation. It always keeps the energy wasted in a state of flux.

There can be no peace in a mind that divides itself.

Seeing the thing as it is, or the self for what it is, releases such a surge of energy that it is hard to believe that the human body is capable of such power. When one gives up the need to be different from anything, it is like being reborn into a powerful machine of infinite energy.

(I don’t mean to qualify it, because there is nothing infinite about humanity. But having that energy released for the first time is completely beyond the experience of what you know.)

Other Interpretations

One of the better translations can be found on the Wikipedia page for Tilopa. I won’t go into it, as you can do that for yourselves. Here it is:

1. Let go of what has passed
2. Let go of what may come
3. Let go of what is happening now
4. Do not try to figure anything out
5. Do not try to make anything happen
6. Relax, right now, and rest

These are better than the original translation I presented at the beginning of this article, as they more directly touch what is going on. However, one might become closer if one thinks of allowing these things to occur instead of letting them go.

Go into it both ways and see what comes of it.

Is Relationship Based on Memory?

When we say “Relationship,” what exactly do we mean? Is it simply a collection of memories that one has about certain people, or is it something more? Is there a living, fresh perspective through memory? Or is memory always old, and devoid of real energy?

Can memory tell us anything about the present moment? Or can it only be held in front of reality as a filter?

What is Relationship?

If we approach relationship through our collected memories, viewing others based on what we have known, what are we actually seeing? Are we actually seeing the person before us, or are we seeing our memories of that person? If I want to really see another person, do I want my memory there, telling me what I should be seeing?

And what about meeting someone for the first time? Even though we do not have direct memories of them, isn’t it true that we still use our memories to tell us what could be true?

Seeing and living through this prejudice is what so many of us do, but why do we continue with it?

Living in this way, is relationship possible? Can we see anything new when we see through the lens of the past? Can I see another person in the present moment, when I can only know them through memory?

To relate is to be present, to be fresh, from beginning to end. To be with the person you are with completely, never giving in to should or should not. Seeing things as they are, and being there at every moment, down to the millisecond. Can this be done if one relies on memory?

If I meet with any of you, why should I use my memories to tell me about you? It is just a fantasy. And if I wanted to have a fantasy, I could have stayed at home. I know it seems like the only thing to do, and in fact, I am sure that most of you have never thought once about it. But it pulls you away from the present moment and pushes you into a false reality.

For example, what happens if you go to a restaurant and are treated badly by the waiter. Maybe you are calm, maybe you are furious, but that is not so important. Whatever the case may be, you store up that incident, perhaps say a bad word or two, but otherwise, that is it. It doesn’t seem so bad, does it?

But, what happens when you return to that restaurant one week later and see the same waiter?

There’s that jerk from the other night! Why do they let people like that work here? You can see it on his face. You know tonight is going to be bad. You know we’ll be put in his section again!

Meanwhile, the waiter is just standing there, mopping the floor. The only thing that happened is your memory altering the present reality. The waiter might have changed in countless ways since your last encounter, but you will never know. Your mind has already solidified him as a jerk, so that is all you can see.

If I want to relate to another person, what happens if I view him or her through my memories? Is anything real being seen? Why should I solidify another person to suit my own mental framework? That effectively kills them, ending the chance to have any kind of relationship.

How do you see?

Sit down with one of your closest friends, or at least, someone you know very well. How do you see them? In what way is your memory working? How does it tell you what to expect? If you can only see the things that you have done before, then what are you really seeing?

Can you see them without memory? I do not mean to say that you suppress anything or try to forget. But can you look at them, take them in completely, for the first time, even if you already know them?

Obviously there may be a rapport established along with a certain level of comfort. Long time friends also have inside jokes, and a wide pool of experiences to draw from. Those things are always there, and can be used to create a kind of linguistic fluency you might not have with a stranger.

But let’s say that this person you sit down with is always compassionate and caring with you. However, this time, for whatever reason, he or she is completely hateful to you, tearing you down. What happens to you in that situation?

If you build up expectations through your memories of that person, what happens when those expectations are not met?

What would happen in that same situation if, even though you have all of the memories, you were completely present and alive. If you were there from moment to moment, what would happen?

How do memories of a person affect your relationship with them?

This is part two of a post on relationships. It comes from this question, asked by Nur:

“But what if the goal is to be in a relationship, to get married or find love? What then? How do we make love or marriage happen?”

You can find the Part One here: Relationship - Part 1

Are you able to relate with another person in the way you want them to relate to you? Are you really interested in the relationship, or are you trying to placate loneliness, or some other feeling? These are important questions to ask oneself. What is it that you want, if anything, from a relationship with another person?

So many people are in relationships out of habit. They stay because it is predictable. They think it would be too much trouble to meet someone new. But are these really relationships? Is there a life being lived? Or are they just going through the motions, so to speak.

Some enter relationships out of habit, as well. It is something that we all do, so why not? Or, It is expected of me, so I should. But what is really there? Can any expression come out of this kind of static living?

Others enter relationships in order to avoid, or smother, their own loneliness. They are motivated by the fear of being alone. There is no desire to really relate, or share with another person. They just want to silence their own pain.

If there is a starting point to all of this, it is to understand what is within you. Ask yourself, Why do I want this? Is there a center that projects your desire? Or is it because you wish to share your light with someone else?

I very much hope that you can find a person to share with, but first, know what is inside of you. The answer is already there.

Relationship is not about ONE person

I am not talking about promiscuity, bed-hopping, or anything like that. The way you relate to one person is in no way different from the way you would relate to another. The only thing there are your memories and preferences. Ask yourself now; Is there a type of person you want to be with? Why is there a type of person? I am not saying it is right or wrong. Just ask the question. Are the reasons you give in any way real? What is behind it all?

This is not about being submissive, either. It is not a matter of just taking whatever comes your way. It is a matter of seeing other beings as they are.

Understand that being in a relationship is not about getting something. Real relationship is not about what you want. If you get in a relationship just to have it, then what have you gained?

Akiko and I were talking the other day. She started a new job recently and had an interesting conversation with her female co-workers. Somehow the conversation steered toward relationships, and the question came up, “Do you argue?” We don’t, and her answer indicated as much. Her friends may have been incredulous, but in the end, found no reason to think she was lying.

It is true. We do not argue. Why would we argue? It doesn’t make sense to me. Of course, we do not agree about everything. And in fact, we do not share the same interests. Certainly there are many things we both like, but the important thing is, we can enjoy ourselves in any situation. There is never a feeling that we should be doing anything else other than what we are doing.

If I had the thought, “Man, Akiko should be interested in this. It is so wonderful,” what would happen if she was not interested? I would be in conflict because I believe she should be. I would only be hurting myself, trying to create my projection of reality. The same would be true for her.

We do not have the same interests, but we are interested in each other. I am happy to hear about what she does, even if I have no interest in it. When I say, “no interest,” it does not mean that there is anything actively against what she does. There is not a thought about whether it is right or wrong. It just is. And I am happy to be a part of it.

Does that make any sense?

The List

Some people find it valuable to make a list of the things they would like to have in a partner. I have never found it necessary, as I am no longer looking for anything. But even before the realization I did not do it. However, if you have never done it before, you may find some value in it, even if it is just clarifying what is going on in your head.

Sometimes writing things down can take weight off of the mind.

I have said before, there is nothing wrong with goals, and having your dream and pursuing it. Having a goal of meeting a great partner may help increase the focus that is needed to bring it about. But you have to be careful. The more you want something, the easier it is to be fooled.

If you want the right man/woman because you think it will somehow complete you, you are headed in the wrong direction. You are already full and complete. Perfection is there, so share it with everyone.

Relationship is Life

Do you want a relationship to feel that you are really living your life? In other words, will the relationship somehow allow you to begin living? Or is it that relationship is constantly occurring at every moment of your life?

Is the goal merely to be married? Because it is too easy to do. Most people put more thought and energy into the wedding, than they do the marriage. It is easy to see the results of that.

Does one need to be married in order to relate? Some might think that the marriage isn’t real, otherwise. But it is only a matter of cultural or societal concern. One needs to know what it is to relate to another, before one worries about marriage.

Be Alone

One of the best pieces of advice I can give is to be alone. Remove yourself to a favorite habitat, preferably outside, sit, and get to know what it means to relate to what is around you. Quiet yourself and see what is really within. You have to find out for yourself. No one else can give it to you.

Being alone has nothing to do with loneliness. And it is not about isolation. Only the self can be isolated, and it has nothing to do with one’s surroundings.

Sit with yourself, with no expectation of what you will get or how long it will take. Do it for the sake of the doing, and nothing else.

If you want to find a wonderful person to share your life with, I am sure you can do it. But you must be serious and think deeply on the matter. You have to take it all the way to the end.

All I can say is, when you are there, it will be clear to you.

Can we learn from experience?

Most of us have heard the phrase, “learning from experience,” throughout the entirety of our lives. We have an experience, categorize it as either good or bad, and store it for later. Then we might look back upon those experiences and provide ourselves the necessary knowledge to choose wisely in the future.

It seems an ideal mechanism for a peaceful world. We can see the pain and hurt, eliminate hate and separation, and truly live with one another. After all, if we see the dangers of the self, and the pain it causes for all concerned, then surely it will end.

But the world is not peaceful, and our minds do not see the danger. Why doesn’t experience show us the destruction caused by our actions? No, not “caused.” The very action IS the destruction. But why do we continue to butcher one another, hate and kill one another, in endless cycles? Why do we not say, “That is it. No more killing. I cannot live life like this for one more second.

Why do you allow it to continue?

Experience as a Weapon

The way our brains process information and store it for easy retrieval is a beautiful design. It is elegant in its simplicity. By why can’t we leave it at that? Why must we constantly refer to the past in order to make something out of every moment?

I can understand that for the evolution of humanity, this mechanism was essential. Even in our own world, it is essential. But only as a means of interpreting incoming information. It has nothing to do with reality, in the way the self perceives it. And the self can only perceive in relation to its own desire for preservation. The self projects only what it thinks could happen, or should happen. It can never see beyond the desire or the fear.

When the self projects ideals and beliefs, it does so in order to protect itself. It only recognizes those things that can ensure its continuity. Conflict arises when the self is challenged, then the proper knowledge, memories, and experiences are called upon to attack in order to preserve. This reaction solidifies the existence of the self, and in order to continue existing, it desperately needs to be right. It needs to win, at whatever cost.

For example, conflict does not arise unless there is a challenge. If you are at your house, washing the dishes, there is very little to be worried about. There is nothing to respond to. But if one is highly religious, for example, and someone tells them, “There is no god,” the conflict begins. But why? There are two responses:

1. You are deeply held in your beliefs. You don’t even listen or give any energy to it because you know you are right. The other person is wrong, but you don’t have to give them the time of day.
2. You are deeply held in your beliefs. You don’t even listen, but you do give all of your energy to protect what the self believes to be true. You act to preserve what you think you are. This action can be outward, or inward.

Some might say, “But I respect other’s beliefs. We should all be able to believe what we want.” We should, and we do. And look at the world, as it is. It is terrifying, the things we do to one another to preserve what we believe.

And what will you do? You want to respect other’s beliefs, but what happens when you are challenged? What happens when everything you believe is seemingly under attack?

We destroy each other to preserve the self, and we call that learning from experience.

Learning is Alive

We think of learning as gaining knowledge or understanding of or skill in by study, instruction, or experience. We gain skill, and we gain knowledge through learning. Learning is a process, and not a result. It is the process of being one with all we come into contact with.

Learning does not rely on the past, or experience, in any way. If one projects themselves, or their beliefs, onto reality, the only thing that exists is the belief about reality. Learning cannot take place in the projected past.

Think of the beauty of learning for a moment. As reality is seen, as it is, the connection is incredible. (But the word connection is not quite right, because there is nothing within being used as a point of connection. Instead of being connected, there is being.) There is only one, and nothing else. This doesn’t mean there is exclusion of any kind, as that exists solely in the realm of the self. No, when you are truly learning, everything is available. The energy is wonderful.

For Takuin, there is no weight to this body. There is the slightest pressure in the neck and the top of the head, but those areas do not become a center for anything. It is just a noticeable sensation. All movement is noticeable, right down to the cell. As the heart beats, and the body is free to work as it does, the mind observes with no trace of a self that is capturing or collecting. There is no experience to interfere with learning.

Learning is a constant, never-ending movement.

Experience is Dead

Experience and knowledge are dead things, with no life to them. This doesn’t make them useless or bad in any way. But experience has no energy or motion. It can only be used as a memory or a projection. This can be either useful or useless.

Memory is somewhat plastic, but knowledge and experience are rigid and dense. If the experiences of the self change and fluctuate in memory, then the self is at risk. There is no solid base to build from. That would be too dangerous for the self, as it is carefully built from specific experiences. So in order for the self to exist, the experiences must be solid.

But can anything be solidified when one is learning? When one is observing and seeing things as they are? The only thing that can be solidified is the projection of the self, but that is a trick. Because when we project, we only see what we believe and what we think should be. Reality is not there.

Besides, can there be solidification in reality anyway?

Living is Learning

If one lives, truly lives, and gives their spirit through natural expression, learning becomes something more than the idea of accumulation. To truly learn is to live. It is constant, and never ending.

Through learning, the mind is alive, and the energy available is almost unbelievable. Action or movement occurs from all points simultaneously, as there is no experience to point to or look from. There is no cage to hold, and no funnel to direct one’s movement.

Experience does arise when needed, but it is not needed in order to see things as they are.