This is from the comments on, Anger and the Self.

Is it more important to see how the self operates by extending itself through problems and separation than feel the underlying emotions as they come up? It seems like emotions are always trying to come up to be realized, regardless of what people do about it.

It is easy to be fully aware of the self through conflict. We aren’t really aware of ourselves unless there is something contrary to what we believe. If we are just walking down the street, or out in nature somewhere, we won’t surface…until we introduce conflict. (Notice that I said that we introduce it. Regardless of the external circumstances, if there is conflict, the self is at the root of it.)

I know losing yourself happened in one dramatic instant, but did you feel that connection before even occasionally? Did you realize it was there?

I think I suspected that something was there, but it is hard to say. I did what so many other people do, which is follow others in order to gain something. Doing routines, following systems for attainment, and generally wasting time; trying to find something outside that is already inside.

If I can give any bit of advice it would be: Listen to everyone, but follow no one.

I have a friend who experiences that connection sometimes as well, she calls it pealing away layers, Can some people have just too many layers and need to work on that before all else?

The world of the self, is a world of fragmentation (or layers). If we go from fragment to fragment, we will be at it forever. We can find some temporary relief there, because when we see a fragment for what it is, it is gone for good. But it never ends, as the human mind is fragmented into eternity.

The end is seeing all of fragmentation; the whole thing. It might be hard to understand, but you see fragmentation, NOT the fragments. You see the whole process, as it moves the mind, and not the individual pieces. That might be of some help.

Takuin

Two weeks ago Akiko and I went to see Zero’s Company dance performance in Tokyo. This particular performance was called BASIC. (The site is Japanese, but you can see some small pics of the same performance here.)

We were both blown away. It was an amazing example of the physical expression of the human body.

The company consisted of probably 80% women and 20% men (with a total of around 20 dancers). The explored themes were mostly comedic, but there was one in particular that could be interpreted as a wonderful example of the movement of thought.

There were 4 women dressed in black as Raggedy-Ann dolls. They were sitting on wheeled office chairs that had the back rests removed. On the center of the stage was a woman wearing a red dress. She would dance about, and the dolls in the chairs would move in reaction to what she did. They slid across the stage, clumsily trying to keep up with the dancer, but the only thing they managed to do was to match or mimic themselves.

The dancer was bright, vibrant, and moving with complete freedom. The dolls were in washed out colors, confined to their chairs, completely restricted in their movement.

To me, the dancer in red was whole and complete; an example of a liberated human being. The dolls in the chairs were the experiences, the memories, the thoughts that try to corner the whole being, splitting it into infinity. But the images could never keep up with a whole human being; they could only recreate a rough approximation that lacks the finesse and movement of freedom. It was astoundingly beautiful.

One of the striking elements of the dancers was their ability to create an emotional response with only their movements. And even thought there weren’t any words throughout most of the performance, they were great storytellers.

It was all so beautifully new.

It is nice for others to show interest in me, but I hope I can dis-suede them from writing down what I say in order to follow it later. It might be of use to write down various questions and go into them, thoroughly seeing whatever might happen to be within.

But if someone really likes me, or for whatever reason, completely identifies with me, there is a danger there. Are they really listening and posing questions to themselves, or do they just take what I say as the truth, accept it and not question it at all?

I love meeting new people, and there is a lovely energy that flows when meeting face to face; something that cannot be experienced through e-mail or blogs. Having said that, I hope no one listens to me and believes I am right and something else is wrong. If someone wants to talk about this stuff, I am happy to do so. If someone wants to talk about Jimi Hendrix, I am happy to do so.

It is interesting to meet people face to face for the first time (related to Takuin.com). They only know me from what they have read, and when I show up, meeting them physically, invariably I am not what they expect me to be.

Life is full of surprises.

Question of the Week: 1/28 - 2/03

This week, in lieu of an actual question, I thought I would go through e-mails from the previous year and answer simple questions posed to me by all of you. Some of these questions are more on the personal side which I usually do not answer. But what the heck.

1. Are you married?

This isn’t much of a secret. I have mentioned Akiko more than once on this blog. However, I rarely ever refer to her as “my wife,” and instead use Akiko. So, if I ever say Akiko, you’ll know who I mean.

We got married on July of 2006.

2. Did you go to school?

I guess you mean College? I went to Berklee College of Music in Boston, but didn’t stay very long.

I must confess that I have never been much of a student. I do study extensively, but only on subjects that interest me. (Those subjects include, but are not limited to: music, literature, theoretical physics, film making, acting, and storytelling.)

3. Are you Japanese?

No.

4. Are you from Japan?

I was born in the United States.

5. What nationality are you?

My mother’s side are of Tennessee/Kentucky stock. My father’s side are from central Mexico. The last time I talked to my father (about 14 years ago) he mentioned that we are descendants of the Aztec. I guess there is no way to verify that, though.

6. Do you have a job?

Other than what I am doing right now, no. I make small amounts of money from time to time.

7. What are some of your favorite musicians/artists/films?

Chick Corea, Scriabin, Chopin, Dream Theater, Rush, Boston, Mozart, Death, Queen, Paco DeLucia.

Picasso, Titian, Jan van Eyck, Ezra Pound, Ernest Hemingway, Stephen King, Salvadore Dali, Harlan Ellison, J. Krishnamurti.

Ikiru, Cemetery Man, Mountain Men, V for Vendetta, Chinatown, Man Bites Dog, LOTR, Lawrence of Arabia, Alien.

8. Do you believe in god?

I don’t understand the question. (Sorry.)

9. What kind of food do you eat?

I stopped eating meat of all kinds around the fall of 2001. Highly processed foods tend to slow down my productivity. I like curry. Japanese pears. I like to eat Akiko’s cooking.

10. Do you have a large family?

In the USA it is mom, one brother, one aunt, one grandfather, a step-father, and that is about it for the immediate family.

In Japan, there are almost too many Minamoto’s to keep track of. Akiko and I have no children.

11. Have you traveled much?

I have spent time in 43 of the 50 United States (and lived in 4 different states). And I live in Japan.

12. What do you think of my favorite guru?

Do you mean, how do I rate them on the B.S. scale? I am in no position to judge anyone or anything. The only advice I can give on this subject is, Listen to everyone, but follow no one.

13. Were you a seeker before your realization?

I think, like everyone else, I just wanted to find a way to feel better. I can’t say that I had a serious interest in enlightenment, and before December of 2006, I had no idea what non-duality was.

But seeking happiness, joy, pleasure, or money is no different from the search for enlightenment. (Because the mechanism of searching is the same between all of them.)

14. What did you do as a child?

I spent most of my time alone. I lived, more or less, in a forest, and most of my day consisted of looking around in nature and just walking around.

I was very curious, and would always get into things I shouldn’t have. But that curiosity kept me interested in everything. It nearly killed me several times as well.

My mom told me stories of the things I would get into. She had to take me to the hospital more than once to have my stomach pumped for eating things that were either dangerous, poisonous, or just plain inedible. But it was no fault of her own. She said that my brother could be left alone, and he would not get into any trouble. But if I were left alone, the first thing I would do is head for the light socket with a fork. It is surprising that I survived childhood.

Thanks mom.

15. When is your birthday? (Maybe they want to know my sign?)

In May. Gemini.

16. What are some of your favorite spiritual blogs?

Probably, the one that provides the most value is Albert Foong’s Urbanmonk.net. He is a great writer, but also, he struggles with some of the same problems as his readers. This is easy to pick up in his writing, and it gives the whole blog a feel of something being done together, with the reader, as opposed to just some authority figure telling everyone how it is.

Also, like everyone else, I have found tremendous benefit at StevePavlina.com. If you have never been to his site (hard to imagine that), start with the articles. That will give you the best overview of the site.

I also enjoy Byron Katie’s blog.

I am not at these blogs everyday. But I do check in, from time to time.

17. What are your favorite non-spiritual blogs?

Problogger
Zen Habits
Armor Games
Skelliewag
Write to Done (This is new, but the content is great for writers)
How Stuff Works
Clarence Bass

Favorite non-blog site: Wikipedia

18. Do you think physical exercise is important?

I cannot say whether it is or it isn’t. It is easy to measure the benefits, however. And it is something I do regularly.

I have exercised for years now. My current workouts consist of throwing kettlebells around. (A kettlebell is an old-time Russian strength building tool.)

Working out with a kettlebell is the closest thing there is to being punched repeatedly.

19. What are your hobbies away from Takuin.com?

Walking around Tokyo. Meeting with artists. Writing letters (by hand). Going to local stationery stores. Film, music, etc.

20. Do you have any message to give to everyone?

Although I don’t use the word hope, I do think there is a chance for peace in this world. But it won’t come through demonstrations, group actions, or government policy. It can only come by ending the war within each of us.

But no one else can end it for you. Find out, and end it yourself. Then peace can’t help but follow you, wherever you go.

This comes from the comments on the post, Question and Answer (or Question and Question?) Part Two.

Would you say you believe in gravity or something like that? What I am trying to determine is whether there may be beliefs which you are not aware of, which exist in the mind below the level of conscious thought. I wonder it is actually possible to live completely without belief.

I do not believe in gravity, but that is only because of the word “believe”. Why should I believe in gravity? I use the word “believe” meaning, a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing. It seems that belief implies attachment.

Why should I attach myself to the “idea” of gravity? Gravity is a fact. I can drop my pen, and it consistently falls downward. Not once has it gone against gravity.

Other than a need or an interest in the specific details, I do not need to be told anything about gravity. It is there, and I can observe it. The same with the Sun. Why should I waste energy setting up a belief or a system telling me that the sun will rise tomorrow? If I believe it or not, it will be there. And if it isn’t, I won’t know the difference because I’ll be dead (you too!).

That is why I have said before that it seems like I am being picky over trivial semantic details. But that is not the case.

Some people use the word “belief” to mean any thing factual. I don’t use it that way. 2 + 2 = 4. That is a fact. Why should I believe it? There is a great deal of energy invested in beliefs.

I am not exchanging one thing for another. I am not saying, I don’t believe this because I believe THIS instead. There is no difference there. Having a belief would seem to imply that something is right, while something else is wrong. If you believe something, you exclude something else. Otherwise, how could there be any belief? So, if that is the case, belief has conflict built right into it.