Why do you have anger? That question is very important. Look at it…why do YOU have anger? For me, to look at this question, something completely different arises. (Different meaning something other than what would normally be expected.)
Let’s go into this question.
If there is anger, is it YOU that has the anger? For example, “I am angry“. Can the self be separate from what it experiences? If you say, I am angry, there is immediately a duality; a separation. The self, the “I,” thinks it to be different from what it experiences. But is it true?
See it for yourself. Look inside. Ask yourself these questions.
You sit where you are, and anger is something beside you, or something across from you. It is something you can have, or not have. That is how it is usually seen. But is it true? Can the self be separate from anger?
You may never see this. It could be elusive until the day you die. You may go to your grave believing that your anger is something outside of you; that it somehow comes into being and just attacks you. But this is childish ignorance.
The self cannot be separated from what it has experienced. Instead of “I am angry,” it becomes “I AM ANGER.” The self IS anger, not something that is experiencing anger. As long as a separation exists, as long as the self believes it to be different from what it experiences, then suffering will continue.
If anger comes about in Takuin, where is it going to go? There is no one here to receive it. There is no self that needs to believe that it is different or superior from what it experiences. If anger knocks at the door, but no one is home, then what happens?
I don’t want to give away any secrets (There aren’t any. What a bummer.), but this is the answer to the old koan, If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to experience it, does it really fall? Think of the tree as your anger. If you are there, if the self is there, to experience the anger, the tree falling, then it becomes a part of you. But if the tree falls, and no one is there, how can it be experienced? Do you see this?
If anger calls, and no one is there to accept the charges, what happens?
In order for there to be anger (in the sense we usually mean), there must be an entity that experiences it. Otherwise, where is it going to go? When anger comes, the self wants to separate from it, believing that suppression / repression / resistance, is the only course of action. But the resistance, or any action for that matter, that is taken against the anger, only strengthens the connection of the self to the anger, while simultaneously, separating the self from the rest of reality.
It may seem like a paradox, or at least, contradictory; How can the self be connected and separate at the same time?
When the self resists the anger, it is only strengthening its connection to the anger in order to ensure its own continuity. The self wants to live, and one of the ways it continues to do so is by hanging on to its perceived problems. If the self has a constant barrage of these little inconveniences, it can continue to exist, because the problems seem to point to there being a self that is separate from the problem. “I have the problem.” That is the connection.
This action seems to point to there being a self that exists; something that is an individual. The individual wants to separate itself from everything else, otherwise it ceases to exist. Through the connection to its problems, in this example, it maintains its continuity; its individual life. But the self, the individual, separates itself from all of life, also in order to survive. That is the separation.
Do you see it?
The self resists the problem, thereby attaching to it. It gives weight to the self. Coherency. A sense of being real. But at the same time, this sense of real-ness that the self realizes through the problem, separates it from the rest of humanity. The individual events, the experiences, the problems, provide the means for the self to remove itself from everything and everyone; to escape reality through the individual. “My problems make me unique. I am different from you. You are different from me.” (You can substitute “problems” for “experiences” in that sentence.)
This might seem very complicated, especially if you have never entertained any of these ideas before. But if you have never entertained these ideas, you wouldn’t be reading this blog right now.
It might seem very easy for me to say this, and you might think I have an unfair advantage due to a lack of self, but that is not true. The action and movement of the self is easy to see, if you know how to look. Every action it takes is to further its own continuity. It needs its problems in order to be real. But the answer is not to eliminate the problems; there are, after all, no problems. There only seems to be, because they give weight to the self.
Please try to see this action as it takes place inside of you.
Feel free to leave your comments, but also, leave your thoughts on how this action moves in you; how it is perceived, and who, or what, is perceiving it.
{ 7 comments }
Hi Takuin,
Great Article!
Is it more important to see how the self operates by extending itself through problems and separation than feel the underlying emotions as they come up? It seems like emotions are always trying to come up to be realized, regardless of what people do about it.
I know losing yourself happened in one dramatic instant, but did you feel that connection before even occasionally? Did you realize it was there? I have a friend who experiences that connection sometimes as well, she calls it pealing away layers, Can some people have just too many layers and need to work on that before all else? I just hope there is more than one way to go about realizing who you are.. maybe this is all resistance to looking at the process within… Great Article. How’s Japan? Steve http://www.jumpingshiphappens.com ( i promise to link back- you can edit this)
Hey Steve. Nice to see you again, and thanks for your comments.
It is easy to be fully aware of the self through conflict. We aren’t really aware of ourselves unless there is something contrary to what we believe. If we are just walking down the street, or out in nature somewhere, we won’t surface…until we intruduce conflict. (Notice that I said that we intruduce it. Regardless of the external circumstances, if there is conflict, the self is at the root of it.)
I think I suspected that something was there, but it is hard to say. I did what so many other people do, which is, follow others in order to gain something. Doing routines, following systems for attainment, and generally wasting time; trying to find something outside that is already inside.
If I can give any bit of advice it would be: Listen to everyone, but follow no one.
The world of the self, is a world of fragmantation (or layers). If we go from fragment to fragment, we will be at it forever. We can find some temporary relief there, because when we see a fragment for what it is, it is gone for good. But it never ends, as the human mind is fragmented into eternity.
The end is seeing all of fragmentation; the whole thing. It might be hard to understand, but you see fragmentation, NOT the fragments. You see the whole process, as it moves the mind, and not the individual pieces. That might be of some help.
It is still humid over here, but I drink enough water, so there are no problems.
Thanks for your comments, and I look forward to meeting you again.
Takuin
By the way, I saw your site, and you are doing a great job over there. Keep it up!
You have been tagged for The Personal Development List. (See my site for details), I would love for you to participate.
As you said, when the self experiences anger, the self becomes anger. The way that a being experiences is to become the thing perceived. When you are happy, you and happiness are one. The same is true with anger. This extends well beyond emotions. One experiences being a writer by becoming a writer, being wet by jumping in water, being wealthy by becoming rich, and so forth.
The important thing to note here is that there is nothing wrong with anger. The difficulty for many people is that they resist the anger, causing themselves to become even more identified with it, suffer, and so forth. Experiencing the anger, they can then experience something different. Anger in and of itself is perfectly fine, it is a human emotion like any other and is part of the human experience. It can even be fun, the moment you stop taking it seriously.
In my opinion, the problem is not in fact the self, but it is our resistance to experiencing certain things. Any time you are fully experiencing something, you can continue to experience it or choose to experience something different. Life is a constant stream of experiences over which you can have minimal or significant control, depending on how deliberately you get involved in making your decisions.
I am curious when you say there is no one there to experience the anger, if you truly mean that or just that the anger does not persist indefinitely. Is there the experience of anger?
What dissolving the self seems to do is release all the judgments that get in the way of experiencing. However, eliminating the self is unnecessary. One can release judgments without blowing themself to bits. The key is appreciation. With appreciation even anger becomes enjoyable.
The self is just an idea, another part of this human experience, and can even be a helpful one. It’s actually a lot of fun. Look at it as a suit of clothes that you can change at will whenever you want. One day you may decide to be intellectual, brooding, and act like a distinguished professor. Then the next you can be compassionate, caring, and feeding the hungry. Most people seem to get into difficulty when they become too caught up in wearing a particular suit of clothes and forget they’re actor underneath them.
I spent a great deal of time attempting to dissolve the self, and have gone in the exact opposite direction of late. I embrace my nature as the formless creator of my experience and do my best to appreciate and enjoy this wonderful world we live in more day by day. When you recognize that you can change the self, it no longer is your enemy – you can make it whatever you want it to be.
You are in fact the actor, the stage, and all the players on it – so it’s a shame to limit your play to a few select experiences. The reason the world is a reflection of you is that it is you. You create it all. It’s why you are able to feel so connected. Be all of it one day and one of the characters the next.
Hey, Hampton! Nice to hear from you again. I hope you’ve been well.
Resistance keeps us attached to the problem, as you have stated. It is also important to note that not resisting does not mean accepting. It is just there. It comes up, or it arises, but who is there to receive it? If the self is not there to receive, how can there be anger? I can only be angry based on what the self tells me is right or wrong. But what if the self is silent, or non-present, or whatever you want to call it?
Again, that raises the question, Can there be experience without an experiencer? I am not saying that there is no anger. But if it comes up, and nothing is there to meet it, what happens?
If there is no self involved, then there is no judgement, you are right. But you cannot eliminate the self. What is the entity that will eliminate it? Can YOU eliminate the self? The YOU IS the self. That is one of the old tricks of thought. The self cannot eliminate the self.
There is no action in liberation. If there is, what is it that performs the action? Don’t get me wrong…I am not saying that I am right and anyone else is wrong. I see these words and they are posed to me, as if they have arisen naturally from within. I can only respond with what is expressed here, and not because I have an idea that it is correct.
You have hit on somthing important, Hampton. If one must live in the world of thought (you might call it the dream, or an illusion), then why not live with the best thoughts you can find? You life will be better, and you can improve the lives of others. If you have to stay there, make it lovely for everyone. If the dream doesn’t suit you, then dream a better dream.
Thanks for your input, Hampton. I look forward to hearing from you again.
Takuin
If there is no resistance to the anger, the anger is simply experienced for as long as it’s there (until you create a different experience). I was recently hospitalized and dug into several of the feelings I had about illness, hospitals, and other related subjects. When you get past the resistance, the feeling is often quite interesting. Releasing that resistance actually made me feel like I was flowing in a river of pink flowers and was incredibly please. Then I choose not to feel sick and started recovering quite quickly.
So while I did get rather sick, I am feeling quite good right now and am hopeful I can be discharged this afternoon and return to ordinary life soon. In addition this was a powerful learning experience that perhaps I needed to have and really brought to light some things that hadn’t entered my awareness.
As far as the self goes…my school teaches that the self is the idea you have about yourself, what you are being right now. It creates a self/other dichotomy so that you can experience a me/not-me duality. You take present moment awareness and say this person is me, that chair is part of reality. But without separation you are both. Other people have said that you can’t experience yourself, so you need to create that duality – that’s not something I have much reality on but I trust they have more experience with it than I.
My feeling is that our true nature and identity is awareness/consciousness. Slightly below this is the will that directs our attention, makes decisions and so forth. So consciousness + will would be performing the liberation. It’s what decides whether to resist or experience a particular situation. It also is responsible for defining what the self is; what you are choosing (or have been convinced) is who you are at this moment.
Yes thought is required to discuss consciousness and will, but consciousness/will/attention are present even in the absence of thought. I would be happy to discuss this with you further but it might be worthwhile to move it to a different venue like a forum or email.
Hi Hampton. I am glad that you will be released from the hospital with little trouble. Hopefully, you will be back to normal before too long.
You are so right about releasing anger. Releasing is a very powerful process, but I rather like to use the word Allowing. When you allow it, the thought, or whatever it is you are releasing, lets go of you, and not the other way around. Any resistance, even a desire to be free, will keep one attached. But if it is allowed to just be there, sensations simply arise without resistance.
Unfortunately, one cannot perform liberation. It just happens, despite anything we might do to bring it about. Liberation meaning, emptiness, enlightenment, or whatever one calles it. Any action toward it is the action of thought. And what is performing the action? The self, which is also thought. Liberation is beyond anything we have known. It is tricky, but if one can stay with this point, it may become clear.
Thought IS consciousness and will. Attention is something else entirely. The consciousness is made up of its content, obviously. And what is the content of consciousness? Experience, memory, thoughts, and all recorded events in that area. If there is no content, there is no consciousness.
Will is like the weapon of consciousness. Consciousness wields it in order to force events to its favor. So Will, is a product of consciousness, i.e., a product of thought. It may feel different to some, but it springs up from the same source.
Again, I am not saying I am right or anything like that. I read no books that tell me what is right or wrong, so everything that appears here is just an expression of whatever is within. I have no idea of right or wrong. All that is needed is to observe what is within all of us.
We already hold all of the answers, because we are the questions.
{ 2 trackbacks }
Comments on this entry are closed.