Thanks so much for sharing your personal story. And I think you see clearly the action of your mind.

None of us know what sort of lives we will have from moment to moment, but we can always be sure it will be life. And it will continue to go on, even after we dis-continue, so to speak.

Ah, you do see this…it would be selfish for you to want him back, but he is not really gone, is he? You can still close your eyes and see him there, hear his voice, feel that energy. He is always beautiful in that place. And you can be the most helpful for those that feel he should be here, even if that person is Teri. You can smile and tell them/you, “He may be physically gone, but he is fine. He is just as beautiful as he was the moment before.”

They might not understand, and you won’t be able to make them, but your reassurance will be of great help. That is a compassion that both you and Jeffrey share, and it is something you both can give to the world.

By all means, do not push away any grief as it comes and goes. It is not something to separate from its source, to hold up as an enemy. But grief is not a consequence of love, for love is still whole and complete within you. Just sit with it – these feelings of grief – and watch what they do and where they go. And they will come and go.

That is a beautiful thing; grief can come and go, but Jeffrey will always be with you.

I am grateful that you have stopped in, and please feel free to comment or send e-mail if you ever feel the need. It is wonderful to have these conversations, and they are a part of all humanity. From here, to Oregon, or to Algeria, these threads run through all of us. And when one human being comes to a clarity of life, such as you may soon do, it is helpful for countless millions of others.

I look forward to how your life unfolds from here.

Sincerely,

Takuin Minamoto

I don’t know yet what sort of life I will have without Jeffrey. What I do know is that I am alive and he is not. He is in a place of pure joy, without pain. It would be selfish of me to want him back from that place. And so, I try to remember him and our life together, but I also remind myself that I will need to do things on my own for now. I’ve never formally forgiven him for leaving me, but I think I’ve done that, in my heart at least.

I found a quote that said you should accept sorrow as a friend. If not that, then as a guest that comes to visit and stays maybe a bit too long. I sometimes think of myself sitting down and having a cup of tea with sorrow and talking over the day. At some point, the days will get easier. But I guess grief is the price you pay when you love someone and they die.

I love your blog, by the way. You are a great writer of great content!

Takuin

Love & Gratitude,
Tina
Think Simple. Be Decisive.
~ Productivity, Motivation & Happiness

Grief, and other emotions, sustain themselves for their own preservation. It also sustains the self. All of these feelings seem to point toward the existence of a self, and these feelings solidify the self to the point that people never question it.

But is it actually there?

‘And on another level, the individual seeks the attention that drives their grief. This is not necessarily a conscious thought such as, “I am going to really cry so my Dad will pay attention to me,” but the self drives it forward to some end.’

thanks