I understand what you mean, and that is not an uncommon observation. I wouldn’t say (for Takuin) that words are, or are not, my friend. I must remember to be thankful for that portion of the mind.

It is a process that is out of my hands, and it becomes easier to appreciate as the years pass by.

I am sure this will all be clear for you. It would seem that you have already passed the event horizon, so to speak. Sit with it all and see where it goes. Don’t expect to watch the I; watch whatever happens to be there.

It is all on the table in front of you.

Don’t try. Don’t try to hold the witness. It is simply a noticing, see it is there.
Yes, only the observer can look. But what is the observer? If everything is formed in awareness, what is not the observer?

It is very clear when you can notice observation of the observer. Deeper still when you observe awareness aware of itself. The whole mechanics of creation. Soon you may notice what is looked upon looks back.

Yes- the something – it is so hard to give it words.
You are most welcome. It is remarkable that we can have this conversation.

A recent insight has made this a little clearer- there is no need to, nor is it possible to silence the mind in order to see this.
The mind has a job and thus there is no problem with it’s activity. Awareness is aware, the mind minds, the eyes see etc, etc.
It has its place and cannot be used to go beyond it’s function, and more importantly, it’s function is not a problem.
It only becomes a problem when there is identification with it’s obsession about obsessing..
‘Where is the silence? where is the silence? why is there thinking?’
There is thinking because that is it’s job, and it cannot be used to do anything else, let alone become the subject.

Over the last couple of days there has been a ‘sense of something’. I have no idea what, but through these interactions there is a ‘something’ occuring, becoming clear??
So, Takuin, Davidya, thankyou…

And this is one of the cosmic jokes. In emptiness we find everything.

Davidya,

That has always interested me. We think we can have everything by having everything. And I suppose many people think it a very reasonable way to live. But as we look into the world, we must question if it is beneficial.

It seems the ‘I’ is caught or trapped in the object, or believes itself to be trapped.
There is the effort to isolate the ‘I’ from everything else and peer into its nature.

Is the I trapped in the object, or is the I the very object itself?

There is an effort to isolate. Effort is itself separation. But is this effort something outside of the I? Something the I is doing? Or is it all one and the same?

However, there is an increasing impatience and frustration at what seems to be a never ending battle to escape myself.

You see it clearly. Now what do you do? You see what it is, where it goes, and the futility of this search. Why hang onto it?

Could that be a part of the inner conflict? You see it is futile, but at the same time, you think you need it in order to get something. Is there conflict in the “process,” or is it in hanging on to a concept you have already seen to be useless?

I am not saying it is one or the other, or that you have any kind of problem. But it may be something that many of us have never questioned.

**********

How does one come upon this curiosity without expectation? It seems that any effort to be curious is ALWAYS for a reason aside from simple curiosity, and on the rare occasion when a genuine curiosity does arise it is always overrun by the mind suggesting the possibility of enlightenment.

Then we are using the word “curiosity” in different ways. It is an interest without expectation. You may have an idea of what is there, and you may have an idea of what will happen, but it is only your best guess, and not an expectation.

You probably have an inkling of where you are going, or what you might find, and that is fine. You may even have a great interest to see whatever it might be. That is fine, too. But once you expect it to be there, it becomes a search for security, and not a quest to find what is really happening.

Does that make sense? In one, the end result is not known or expected, even though you may have an idea of where you are going. In the other, there is the fear of not getting what you want, so you decide what is there and then torture yourself by trying to make it appear.

Curiosity implies you really want to find out what is there; not find what you already believe to be there. One is full of life, the other is dead.

I really DONT KNOW if anything i say or think is genuine.

Perfect. That is where you begin.

The leap into a new reality is constantly taking place. I have merely superimposed my belief system upon it to make it more familiar, more “safe”.

You have seen it. Now, the questions arise.

You have superimposed the belief onto reality, and that is the way of seeing for the self.

Is that system, action, superimposition, or whatever you call it, capable of seeing beyond what it knows? If it is indeed seeking security, that security can only come from what it believes to be secure. These things are already known.

Again, can this take place outside the field of the known?

When you have gone through that question, having sat with it, ask this:

Is there a way of seeing that is not dependent upon the known? Is there a perception beyond your system of belief?

These things may be important for you.

But don’t worry about that yet. It will be seen after awakening. First thing is to know who you are. Then what you are not is easy. Don’t look for the I, look to the witness. That is where the shift goes. This is about attention.

Mental ideas or beliefs are held by the mind. Identity is held by fear. This is usually not obvious yet. This fear is powerful enough to create our perception of an inside and outside of me. The thing that divides it is identity.

The senses will always be there. That’s fine. They are not a barrier. Indeed, the I is not really either. It’s not that we have to destroy the I to become Self, its that we become Self we already are and the I is no longer needed.

The mind does not want to believe it as it threatens its story, it’s construct. But the mind doesn’t have to believe it. Just to get out of the way fully for a millisecond when the Self steps forward. You cannot escape it. The mind is a maze without an exit. Just notice who is watching, who is thinking these ideas. Who is the witness. That is the ‘escape’.

Ignore (but don’t resist) the thoughts about genuine. That’s just the mind kicking up fear.
As Takuin observes, its all there in your words. Very close. You already are that. It is only for you to accept it. (laughs) Get out of the way long enough.

You may find being around someone awake will make it easier, if that is possible. When consciousness has an example, it’s easier to emulate – if that’s the right word.

You mention “Realizing this brings more willingness to surrender to me. ”
Perhaps think of it more like surrendering to what is. How can you surrender to an illusion? Just a word perhaps but look at the thought that arose in.

We do surrender to all of it, including the me. But the key is beyond me. The key is to surrender to what is, or perhaps to who is aware you are reading this.