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What Changed You?

by takuin on Friday, November 5, 2010 · 10 comments

November Project: Question #4

What was it that you saw that had such a profound, life altering affect on you?

Any single phrase or explanation will be insufficient, so let’s play around with words and see if we can come up with something. However, don’t take this too literally.

In the beginning, as some have said, whatever the Universe was, was held together by 4 forces; the electromagnetic, the strong nuclear, the weak nuclear, and gravity. The Universe was an infinitely tiny ball, and those four forces were like chains, holding it all in place (that might be overly simplistic, but it works for our purposes here). Now, for some reason still unknown to us, those chains holding together the tiny ball of universe broke, and the universe exploded outward.

Now let’s imagine the self, the ego, CONSCIOUSNESS, or whatever you want to call it, is the Universe before the Big Bang. It is a very tiny ball, a very limited position, held together by certain forces. Let’s say the forces holding it together are experience, knowledge, conditioning, emotion, or whatever (it is not meant as a definitive list).

As ‘persons’ or ‘individuals’ with agendas – as the tiny ball – we experience the world as us and them, you and me, me/my/mine, and so on. (It is not good or bad or anything, but that position is always limited by the viewpoint of the person experiencing.)

For whatever reason, on December 1st, 2006, those chains that held the self together; the experience-er, the viewpoint, and so on; broke, and consciousness exploded outward like the Universe. I don’t know why it happened, but that is not really important.

There was no specific event as the cause. Sitting here now I can see no reason for it. It is just something that happened. But one thing is most likely certain; if the forces holding YOU together suddenly break, there is no way of ever going back…

It is a decent analogy I suppose, but as a concept it is flawed, as is every concept. But we are just playing with words here, and it shouldn’t be taken as a solid, definable state that can be hunted for and killed for one’s own continuity.

Snow on the Rice Field

If you can’t follow The Change back to a single motivator, what motivates you to continue walking your current path?

There is no path, in the way we are speaking. It is not the same as making a plan in the physical world, where we might have a goal of some kind to do or accomplish something. That is all the physical, and we need an expression of the physical to accomplish it, whatever the goal might be. For example, if you want to be a good musician, there is physical doing involved in order to achieve that goal.

But what we are talking about is a realization beyond the physical. It is not dependent upon activity (although many people would try to convince you it is), and not dependent upon what came before, in the sense of accumulating and using knowledge. In other words, it is not a matter of ‘knowing‘ my place, then following a path or a plan that suits the image I have created.

You can only see the path in hindsight. You can analyze your own actions, your own history, then decide it was this path or that path, but when we are talking about life as it is lived in each moment, there is no path, no plan, and no destination.

Thanks for your question.

{ 8 comments }

Tom Stine November 6, 2010 at 3:51 am

“You can only see the path in hindsight.”

I find this to be the single most amazing aspect of the so-called spiritual journey. The path, the “purpose”, the plan, whatever, is only apparent after the fact. It is thus virtually impossible to say what the path SHOULD look like.

I frequently like to say that it seems like most people who wake-up did a significant amount of sitting. Not necessarily meditating, but sitting and contemplating/meditating/releasing whatever you wish to call it. However, does sitting CAUSE awakening? No, not at all. As you point out so clearly, waking-up or realization just happens.

So, is Ken Wilber correct? To quote Ken: “Awakening is an accident, but you can make yourself more accident prone.” Ah, hmm, I doubt it. YOU can’t, but can LIFE make itself more accident prone? Hmm…. what do you think, Takuin?

takuin November 6, 2010 at 11:23 am

Thanks, Tom. Good to see you again…it has been awhile.

However, does sitting CAUSE awakening? No, not at all.

I sometimes wonder if people really know why they do these things. Not the superficial story they say about why they do it, because there is always something deeper, but why does everyone seem to think in order to discover something, it must be done in a certain way? Of course, there has to be some functioning of the body in order to live, but that takes care of itself.

I am not sure it takes anything other than curiosity.

So, is Ken Wilber correct? To quote Ken: “Awakening is an accident, but you can make yourself more accident prone.” Ah, hmm, I doubt it.

In some way, it is the same as making oneself more prone to being struck by a meteor.

It seems to make sense, though. One thinks in order to be good at something, one must study or perform tasks leading to fluency. If you want to be a better musician, there are certain steps one might take. It can be measurable. “I didn’t know this scale before, and now I do. I couldn’t read music before, but now I can,” or however someone might measure success or progression for themselves. But that is far too much for this inward seeing.

Seeking enlightenment based on the rules or particular trappings of someone else is just such a strange concept to me. There is absolutely no freedom there.

As I sit here now, and I imagine myself to be someone listening and accepting a teaching or routine, I must take it and cover myself over with it. I must accept it as the right path, or a true teaching. There is no life there. The eyes might shine a little, but death sits behind them. I can only move in concert with the teaching, otherwise there is this pain of going against the grain.

It feels to me like a flame in a tiny enclosed space. And the oxygen is quickly burning away. One must act quickly before the flame burns out forever…

Rizal Affif - The Soul Sanctuary November 6, 2010 at 8:32 am

Hahaha, very clever analogy, I must say.

In gassho.

_/|\_

takuin November 6, 2010 at 11:24 am

Thanks, Rizal.

Sometime, I wonder if any of my analogies come close to working. Good to know this one was alright. ;)

Tom Stine November 7, 2010 at 4:18 am

But here is the funny thing: one really has no choice but to seek enlightenment once the “enlightenment bug” grabs hold of you. And about all you can do at first (and even far along the journey) is try things suggested by others. You read books, you sit, you meditate, you do practices, you do whatever it takes because, at some point along the way, you MUST KNOW the Truth. You have to get to the bottom of this enlightenment thing.

Now, I think it is quite possible that NONE of the things one does will make any difference. But you still have to do them. As many have said before, it is as if the one seeking enlightenment (ego?) has to exhaust itself. It has to meet utter defeat to be let go.

At least, it sure seems this way to me. :-)

I’m enjoying your 30 days, 30 questions. Keep it up. Be well….. Tom

takuin November 7, 2010 at 7:27 am

Thanks, Tom.

Perhaps it is as Picasso once said, “There is no abstract art. You must always start with something.” But still, I like to wonder and explore these things…

In this world we live in, we like to pursue enlightenment or god or whatever, in certain ways. It varies a bit from culture to culture, but despite tens of thousands of miles of separation from one culture to another, the search is very similar outwardly.

But sometimes I like to think ‘what if‘ type questions. I like to imagine humanity with slightly different beginnings. What if everything were the same as it is now, except for the way we search for freedom?

What if, in the beginning, a trusted guru – perhaps the first guru – said music is the only path to god? Then we would have generations of seekers writing songs. Or what if that same first guru said that building small objects upward, reaching out to god, is the right thing to do? Then seekers would build small jenga or lego idols aimed at the heavens.

It seems, as seekers, we look for what we have been told to look for. It is interesting to me.

Still…I like to wonder.

Sarah November 10, 2010 at 9:55 am

Yup, I’ve been bitten by the “enlightenment bug” all right…and it’s driving me crazy… >_<

Do you really think curiosity is enough? I feel like the more I try to be present/look within/inquire while investigating who or what is doing all of this, the more lost and exhausted I feel…yet I can't seem to stop because, like Tom said, I have to get to the bottom of this–and I don't know what else to do.

What to do when curiosity seems to keep getting hijacked by the mind/ego?

takuin November 10, 2010 at 10:28 am

Thanks, Sarah.

I feel like the more I try to be present/look within/inquire while investigating who or what is doing all of this, the more lost and exhausted I feel

Don’t lose heart. It may well be exhausting if you’ve never really concentrated your energies in such a way. Relax into it, and have another look.

What to do when curiosity seems to keep getting hijacked by the mind/ego?

Enjoy that lunacy while it lasts, because its time is limited. ;)

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