There is a subtle voice in letting go that says, "Things need to change. If I let this go, my life will be better." But it is a mere projection of a non-existent state. Although one is 'letting go,' it may still be a trick of the controller. In other words, one would not 'let go' unless they felt something was wrong in the first place. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You lack nothing.
The only state you have, is the one you are in. If you feel fearful, it is a fact. It is confusing to try and find a "better state." To sit with what is present - the fear - and work from there, is all one can really do.
All of this - whatever feelings you may have, good or bad - is your greatest teaching. It is better than anything anyone else may hand to you. All of the answers are present within you. But you must begin with what you have, and not with what you think is better.
You may need strength to sit with it and see it. You may need great determination to see it through, but this is your journey to take. And whatever is within you - even if it seems to bring pain - is truly a gift.
You know, there is that saying, "What you resist persists." But also, it is this resistance that helps point you toward your greatest freedom. It is all very exciting to be where you are. You might not believe it, but it is true.
It seems you take this seriously, and that is a very positive step. But you will also need curiosity to see it to the end. There is a great energy present within curiosity. And while it might not eliminate fearful feelings, it makes it all so much easier to deal with.
When you are curious, there is a great movement toward finding out; you are not so interested in a specific result as much as you are in finding out what is really there. And seeing the truth of what is present is stronger and more final than any fear that resides within thought.