This short post is an excerpt from a recent skype conversation. Do not blame anyone else or any outside situation for your perceived lack of progress on your spiritual path. There is no assignment of fault, other than your wish to find the right words that will someday set you free.
Try not to feel so bad, though. There is certainly no lack of trying on your part. But what has your conformity and adherence to the words of others done for you? If you are in a frustrated state of mind, how did you arrive there? Is it due to your hope for liberation through conformity?
Everything coming into your life, whether helpful or harmful, teaches. And this teaching is unique and personal to where you stand at any given moment. It can never happen again, to anyone else, at any time, in the way it is happening to you now.
Your teaching is constantly with you, but why can't you see it?
What is with you when your mother dies, when your spouse leaves you for another, when your child has to undergo surgery, or when lose your job? The only thing consistently present is you, and how you come up against the world around you. That is the greatest teacher of all, and the only spiritual teaching you'll ever need.
Your own salvation will not come through acceptance of hand-me-downs and conformity. It is far more simple than any of that...