I walked for what must have been, 3 or 4 hours spread throughout the day. Each time, that emptiness was there (not there?). Projections, images, thoughts, or stories, whatever you want to call them, tried to intervene, but they fell away and I was left alone. It is really a magnificent feeling; living in joy and in the present at each moment. There is no time to watch it go by, because time is absent in this kind of seeing. Like being at the moment of death constantly. It must sound, on the outside, to be a very morbid or negative experience. That is not the case. When all of those superficial things go, great energy, joy, compassion, love, all of that is left over. But it is the joy and love that is not a result of thought. It is not in the same universe, as it were. I have heard Jiddu Krishnamurti refer to this as "the otherness." I am not too keen on using , what is known as, Krishnamurtian Lingo, but I have no terms of my own. In fact, due to this event, I have nothing of my own, in a wonderful way. That initially caused some difficulty navigating through the world, but those things are clearing up with further investigation. However, I will do my best not to use that kind of terminology, as difficult as it might seem.
I have read Krishnamurti, both Jiddu and U.G. (as of this writing, U.G. has gone off to die somewhere in Switzerland), but nothing that they said made this event possible. I tried and tried, but it didn't really help. What helped, was realizing the importance of self-inquiry. As I went deeper, things that were unexpected came up. Eventually, when it all fell away, it was not due to any method or plan. This happened outside of my every exertion. I could not have imagined that this is the way it would be.
I enjoy this feeling of emptiness, oneness, otherness, whateverness, that is always present, that seems to ebb and flow. I would like to say the best is yet to come, but I have no way of knowing anything other than what is here, in the present.